This is a portfolio of the mandalas I create.

The last couple of weeks seem to have flown by. Still some ups and downs, some hard days, but most full of blessed peace. Here’s some highlights.

Since my last post I’ve had a lot of encouragement from so many people sharing verses with us. I’m compiling a list of them and will share them in their own post. I think the biggest help has been this:

This is a collection of Bible verses that are helping us through these times, providing encouragement, reducing anxiety, and building our faith. I wrote in my last entry that I was looking for some, and I’ve had so, so many shared with me that have helped us over the last week. I’ve put them all here for you and others to read and share alike, that you too may be encouraged, find strength, and hopefully help you get through these troubled times.

This week we started learning how to homeschool. We’re taking it easy at first, just a couple hours a day, mostly worksheets from teachers, and online exercises. 6 weeks off of school though means that we have to try to do something. The kids are handling it pretty well, they’re resilient like that. They don’t really understand the chaos the world is in, and that’s ok… we’ll keep them on the blue pill for as long as we can (that’s a Matrix reference if you’re not a Sci-fi fan).

Last night, after another panic attack, I cracked my bible for the first time in what feels like a very long time. I looked up the Lord’s prayer. After reading it I noticed on the very same page, “The cure for anxiety”. Matthew 6 and 7 have so much wisdom in such a relatively small part of the bible. Matthew 6:25 talks about the birds of the air and how we are worth more. “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

It’s been a long week. We’ve had another share of ups and downs, but mostly ups I think. Lots of appointments, some disappointments, but overall we’re feeling optimistic having such amazing support from our community, the new doctors we’ve met, and Jenney’s returning strength.

Jenney’s support team of doctors, resources, and ways you can help.

We had a really good weekend. Saturday we did pretty much nothing at all, just rested. Jenney took some naps and had a headache in the morning and another in the evening, small ones that some Tylenol took care of. But overall we just played with the kids.

The oncologist came in bright and early the next morning around 6:20am. He said he would be setting up an appointment for us next week, and that he had referred us to a different gamma knife facility at the University of Washington’s Harborview Medical Center where they have the means of shielding the baby during the procedure. This would mean we wouldn’t have to have the baby in a few weeks.

At 3am they woke us to draw blood, and to prep us for one last CT scan of Jenney’s head to compare it to the first one taken post-op. We woke up a while and by 3:15 they had a spot for Jenney in radiology. I stayed in the room, telling her to “smile pretty” for the camera as they wheeled her away. She was back in about 20 minutes and we tried to get back to sleep.

Jeanne reported in to me in the morning. Around 7:30am the neurologist came in and said Jenney was doing better than he anticipated with the drain clamped. One more day and then it most likely can come out. Woohoo! He said he was meeting with oncology and OB the following day to discuss next steps. Jenney still had a small headache and double vision from the trauma of the migraines, but she was doing better than expected as he didn’t think her body was going to tolerate the drain being clamped yet.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
— William Arthur Ward

Jenney awoke at 2:30am with a headache. Tylenol, then tried to get back to sleep. At 5:42 she still had a headache and asked for more meds. She got her typical meds and some more Tylenol at 5:55.

Sunday Jeanne messaged me to tell us Jenney woke up feeling pretty well. She’d gotten at least some sleep, and felt at least marginally better. The doctor came in around 7:15am while she was eating breakfast and said it would be ok to take more of the IV’s out (she had like three of them in) and didn’t need to be monitored as much for blood pressure (which was every hour so far). He said they would attempt to close the drain on Tuesday and see how she did.

Saturday morning the Dr came to see us with a message of hope. The CT scan showed that Jenney’s chest, abdomen, liver, bones, and lungs look good. They did find some subcutaneous nodules on her left shoulder and flank under the skin, above the muscle, which would be easy to biopsy with some local anesthesia to check and be sure. If these were benign, they saw no reason why we would need to do any chemical treatment, which also means she should be able to carry the baby to full term.

Friday morning I awoke to the oncologist coming into the room, turning on the lights. I scrambled for my phone to take notes as he started talking.

This was a hard, terrible day.

They woke us at 5am to start prepping for the post-op MRI. There was some confusion as to where to go as there are two different MRI’s in this hospital and they had to find someone who knew how to get to the outpatient MRI station, which does a lower resolution (non-contrast) MRI, deemed slightly safer for a baby. The OB has since explained there is a lot that is very safe for a baby, we just try not to do them needlessly, and everyone at the hospital gets on-edge when there’s a pregnancy involved.

After a quick cup of coffee and a hug from Jim, I drove to the hospital to be with Jenney before the surgery. When I got to the room, curled up in the hospital bed with her and we held each other and cried. At 6am they came in to prep for surgery, then wheeled her down to the pre-surgery area. I remember an area where there were lots of lights and alcoves. In one of the alcoves they placed us and put a monitor on the baby to get a read on his heartbeat. The quick pulse was comforting to our ears. Jenney mentioned double vision, and they noted it during another eval.

In the morning the Neurologist, Dr. Hammer came to see us. She said she had referred us to Dr. Goldman as she would be out later in the week and wanted to ensure we had continuity of care. She answered our questions, showed us the MRI, explained how an operation might proceed, assured us that this was a very good time for the pregnancy for an operation, and assured us that the chances of success for where the tumor was located were very good. Dr. Goldman would be in to see us later that morning to evaluate Jenney and would most likely want to operate as soon as possible.

Jenney fell again while I was helping her to the bathroom, and I caught her. She had been having a headache and thought she needed to pee, but once it subsided realized she in fact did not. I took her back to bed and didn’t give her the option this time. We were going to the ER.

I heard a crash from upstairs. I ran up to find Jenney naked on the floor of the bathroom. She had blacked out and fell on her way to the toilet. She’d been taking baths every so often as she found the water somewhat soothing, and wasn’t bothering to put clothes back on since she just went back to bed. I urged her to go to the ER. She refused saying we had an appointment on Monday with the OB who could advise us better. She didn’t want to go and have them charge us more money and say, “Take some Tylenol” again. But after that I watched her like a hawk and didn’t let her go to the bathroom alone.

Jenney’s migraines started on Feb 10th while we were in San Diego visiting her mom. We had planned on taking the kids to Disney while we were there but Jenney could barely leave her bed, much less the house. She had vomited a couple times as well. The migraines came anywhere from 15 to 50 minutes at a time, lasted 5 to 10 minutes, and only seemed to subside at night or in the mornings. We started keeping a log.

I obviously don’t post here enough even though I’ve made it dead simple for myself. So here are some other places I tend to post things lately. —

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