Don't cry, it's true. But let me tell you about how I first came about my savior.
My first Drupal child was a project we call the Resource Center. When I say we, I mean Shawn Priesz, Kevin Poust, and me. I started off with writing a login system for a project Shawn had built that takes registered users from our main company's website (c-sgroup.com) and gives our sales representatives the information of those users, that live in their respective area, along with what product details they were downloading. I know what you're thinking, 'Big Brother type stuff, eh?'. Well maybe a little, but these are our REGISTERED users and they know that their information is kept within the company. Or at least that's what helps me sleep at night. In any case, we needed a way for our sales reps to log in before they could see the information so that it was not readily available to just anyone.
So I worked for a while on a login script and built it around this reporting program (after converting it from ASP to PHP) and finally had a working system when alas, I found Drupal. Praise be. A system that already did what I was looking to do AND MORE.